Hi edie and welcome to the Q&A Board.
Sorry to start by asking a question but it'll help finding the solution.
getting a bright pictures even though I use flash
What are your camera setting? You may have your shutter speed set to too low a speed or your aperture too wide (low number = wider aperature). In either case you'll be letting in too much light and compounding it by using the flash. If you're using "auto" mode the camera may be metering off a darker area of the image and setting the camera incorrectly. If you can give us a few more specifics it will help.
when i use my self timer how high does the camera need to be or do i need a tripod
Not sure what you mean here, "how high" as in speed is what I'm assuming.
That's going to depend on the circumstances of the shot but personally I wouldn't use the timer without a tripod. You're bound to move a little while waiting for the timer.
how do i get my 18 month old nephew to look up at the camera
Children are all curious, you can try jingling some keys or a favorite toy but that of course leaves you shooting with only one hand. If you can't get an assistant to help catching his attention maybe you could try getting down to his level.
$.02
